Ever since we moved into our house 6 years ago, our books have been in a “temporary” storage condition. Meaning, they were in my closet. Or Taylors closet. Or a basket. Or this old thing that was falling apart and in danger of falling over.
We need a place to put them. We need bookshelves, and this decision was kicked down the road a bit. The ideal solution would be to get som custom built-ins in the upstairs part of our house (Sorry, this is one of the only pictures I could find:
Screenshot
Built-ins are expensive. Like, very expensive. Is there any other solution? Taylor looks around Greensboro a bit for something nice that could match (She is really good at styling and making things look good). But, to no avail. I pushed for Ikea- an hour and fifteen minutes away in Charlotte. They should have any sort of option to help fit that space. With many, many measurements ready and an empty agenda for Saturday, we all got in the car and went. Sad to say for the blog that I didnt get any pictures of Ikea- I didnt think of it at the time. But we did get the perfect set.
It took 6 boxes. Each box weighs about 60 pounds- and the quality was far better than what I was expecting. No particle board here, this was 3/4″ high quality wood from what I could tell.
Also, putting together the first piece (the tv stand) was much, much harder than expected. Sure, Ikea furniture does have a reputation for being difficult to assemble, but I like to think I am pretty good at that kind of thing. The difference between assembling toys before Christmas and assembling Ikea furniture is that the Ikea furniture has absolutely no markings of any kind on any of the 100 pieces. The best I can figure is that because their furniture is shipped all around the works, there is not even a common alphabet to use in order to label the parts. So, all of the instructions, with very unusual fasteners and self assembly pieces, are done via diagram, pointing out very, very small things like a pinhole in the wood in order to identify the correct piece.
After the first part was assembled, it got a lot easier. Most of the time was spent trying to identify exactly what it was that needed to be used, but each piece of furniture uses similar fasteners and screws, so it became much quicker.
In fact, this is how long it took to assemble each piece:
TV stand (the first item): 1:41
Base 1: 1:00
Base 2 (the same thing): :42
Top Shelf 1: :40
Top shelf 2: :17
Now, the books are off the floor of my office, out of my closet, and it looks a lot better:
How popular are new years resolutions? Sometimes it is hard to tell if everyone does some kind of resolution based on the number of opinion type of news articles that I see, or if it is just a small group of dedicated people who make absurd attempts each year.
This year, I made two resolutions:
run a half marathon.
eat “The mediterranean diet”.
The first one I actually started back in December because I wanted to get a head start. Using my garmin watch, it can create a custom plan, so I just do what it tells me to do each day and try not to think or rationalize it- otherwise it is too easy to just not run each day.
Instead of thinking about how fast I am going, or how many miles I need to run, I am doing it just based on TIME, thinking “I just have to run 30 minutes today, it doesnt matter how fast.” Somehow, I am now running faster and farther than I have before. This running plan says to walk/run a few minutes at first to warm up, and a few minutes at the end to cool-down. Since I am not as young as I once was, this I can easily do, along with anything else that will prevent an injury. Right now I am up to 10 mile runs, and feeling pretty good about it!
Taylor and I are also doing the mediterranean diet. What is it? A pretty flexible diet where fruits and veggies are the bulk of the meal, and carbs and protein become a smaller portion. It doesnt call for no dairy, but we have cut in goat cheese, and a bit of mozzarella. For proteins, it calls for less beef and chicken, and more fish. Its only been 2 weeks, but last night we had an amazing shrimp, tomato, and spinach meal:
Between the running and the change in the diet, I feel great! Some pounds are down (thats not the major motivator for me, but it is neat to see), blood pressure is down (an issue in my family), sleeping way better, and the biggest part: my mind feels more clear. It would be easy to go down the road of my armchair based opinions about why, but I will spare you that talk for now…
Mercy
Can I just take a moment to share how fun this kid has been? The moments during a normal week have been so, so special:
When she wakes up, she runs out of her room, and find the first parent, and gives a gigantic hug.
At church, she loves to be held when we sing the songs. She is getting a tad heavy (or I need to workout), but this can slide for as long as possible.
Rosie was at a sleepover, and I asked: “Mercy, when Rosie is gone, do you miss her?” Mercy replied, “Daddy, I miss her so, so, so much everytime she is gone.”
When I carried out the garbage, she wanted to “surprise” me by putting a new trash bag in the can before I got back inside.
When I was cleaning the house, it got quiet and she disappeared. I found her cleaning her room to surprise me.
Even though she annoys Rosie often, she simply will not go to bed without a hug from Rosie first. She will get out of her bed and find Rosie, and take a hug from her before her day is complete.
She cried the other day because her hair isnt as long as Rosies. I just picked her up, and asked her about her baby dolls in an effort to change the topic.
This year, Mercy is big enough to join Rosie for two of our favorite January traditions: the daddy-daughter dance, AND our annual trip to a UNC game in Chapel Hill with the Lineberrys (we missed last year, but have a good streak going besides that!)
She beats me in Jenga nowMercy doing her thingSHe loves the dogAnd her sister
I cut my finger
One of the first of the healthy meals this year ended up with some particularly nasty results- my first really good cooking accident. I was making a healthy meal and it called for putting some greens in a food processor to make a sauce. We dont have a food processor, so I was using our “immersion blender”. Some of the thick sauce was on the blade, so I was getting it out with my finger, and my palm hit the sensitive power button. Taylor likes some things that make me squeamish, so I am going to share:
It doesnt look like much, but as far as I can tell, the blade went 1/4 through my finger 6 times. When taking the princess bandage off the next morning,the pain was incredibly intense. I saw an urgent care doc the next day who cleaned it well, and told me to keep it clean and change the bandages regularly for a week to keep it from getting infected.
Our Christmas season is off to a great start: many of the same traditions, and oh how I look forward to them:
Take the items down from the attic.
Go to the farmers market and get a tree.
Take the tree in, set it up.
Play Christmas Music. Go heavy on the carols we sing at church.
Deck the halls with our hodgepodge ornaments. No, we dont follow a theme- just special ornaments and hand-me-downs from over the years.
Alternate which child puts the start on the tree. This was Rosies year.
Clean up. Of course, the least-exciting part of it.
Farmers MarketOne of our 25 yr old ornamentsRosie tops the tree this year
Here is a clip of us getting a tree in 2021, 2022, and again in the same place this year:
Fast forward a weekend,and Rosie has a birthday. This year was not nearly as exciting as last year’s milestone birthday (we prepped her well ahead of time), but taking all of your friends to see the new Wicked movie is pretty sweet too.
She had 11 friends over (I think?). Yes, a blast. Yes, kindof my worst nightmare? Although now that they are around 11 years old, its not as bad- they are all good kids. We had Jimmy Johns at our house before the movie, then Taylor made special zip-loc bags of candy for the kids to have during the movie, so we dont have to buy stuff there. Genius.
Birthday GirlRosie blows out candles11 of her besties.Jimmy Johns for dinnerAt the movies
Fast forward another day, and Taylor is off to Fort Lauderdale (Not Miami) for a work conference for 4 days, so in typical dad fashion, look for some last minute ideas of what to do with the kiddos while mom is gone: A day trip to the mountains for tubing? Winter festivities downtown? Anything in Raleigh or Charlotte for the day (the more time it takes the better?).
Instead, we got some last-minute tickets to Disney on Ice. They are pretty cheap the day of the event.
Mercy actually loved it- though the pic doesnt capture it.
We really had fun- Mercy was really into it. And, since we went ice-skating the week before downtown, it gave us insight to how challenging all of those tricks are while ice skating.
Afterwards, I learned that Mercy was expecting to go ice skating with all of the Disney princesses too.
Fast forward another weekend, when I am ready to relax, and at about 11:30 am, Taylor says to me: “I think Hazy ate all the raisins“.
This is Hazys happy face- even though she looks sad. Stormy was much more photogenic.
When she says “all the raisins”, she means the family size, 20oz container, not a typical red-box of individual servings a kid might eat.
If wondering why this is important or blog worthy, here is an article about it. In short, raisins are highly toxic for dogs. And its not just this link, all articles about the topic say to rush to the vet ASAP. If you didnt know, now you know.
So I drove fast- very, very fast to the after-hours vet. When explaining that my kid was doing a tea-party in her room and the dog ate the family size container of raisins, their collective faces dropped. This didnt help the situation- I said goodbye to Stormy earlier in the year, and didnt want to say goodbye to another. Plus, I couldnt have this on Mercy’s conscience: that her little snack caused the dog to get ill, or worse.
The vet gave her some stuff to induce vomiting, found “a ton of raisins” mixed in, took my money, and sent us home.
The challenge with raisins in dogs is that they dont really know for sure: weight and size vs. quantity dont really matter. Sometimes two or three can mess up even a large dog, sometimes it takes many, many to have an impact. But if it does, by the time the dog starts showing symptoms 24-48 hours after ingestion, the kidneys are already failing.
The vet told us to come back Sunday morning to do a follow-up to check kidney functioning with some more bloodwork. It all came out well, and she was back home with her tail wagging, never having skipped a beat. She is acting a little strange this morning as I type (48 hours after), but Im sure its nothing, right?
Surprise! If you have read anything on this blog, the signs are there.
But what is it? And why does it matter to me as an adult?
It turns out, alot. Let me explain.
The DSM (Diagnostic Statistical Manual) defines ADHD as:
Failure to give close attention to details
Trouble holding attention on tasks
Does not seem to listen
Does not follow through on instructions
Has trouble organizing tasks
Avoids tasks that require mental effort over a long period of time.
Is often forgetful on daily activities.
Often interrupts
Is impulsive
Pulling back the layer of the onion, it is an ambiguous diagnosis with a spectrum of traits. We are the people who don’t pay attention at meetings, but come out of nowhere with a fresh idea to save the day. If you were to climb inside my brain, you would see ideas popping around like popcorn kernals. My mind is here, there an everywhere. Often I can offend people by not remembering their names, but make good on it by understanding what nobody else has picked up on.
We like irrational. We’re at home with uncertainty. We’re at ease where others are anxious. We’re relaxed not knowing where we are or what direction we’re headed in.
There are paradoxes too:
Trouble organizing and planning. Also Called “executive functioning”. However, we can also create doubt by giving an amazing presentation on time, hyperfocus, and be super-reliable when interested.
High degree of creativity and imagination. This can be snuffed out by years of criticism, lack of appreciation.
Trouble with time management, and a tendency to procrastinate. We experience time differently. In our world, there is “now” and “not now”.
Strong willed, refusal to accept help.
Unique sense of humor. Quirky, off beat. Many stand-up comics are ADHD. They think outside the box.
Gruff, awkward, rude, unfiltered, or aloof. This is the part of “impulse control” that those of us with the diagnosis suffer with.
EXQUISITE SENSITIVITY TO CRITICISM. William Dodson, one of the most accomplished doctors in ADHD, coined the term “Rejection sensitivity dysphoria”, describing tendency to overreact disasterously to even the slightest perceived put down, dis, or vaguely negative remark. On the flip side, we have an enhanced ability to make use of praise, affirmation, and encouragement.
Impulsive and impatient. We make quick decisions, have trouble with delayed gratification.
Uncanny accurate intuition. And a tendency to overlook the obvious.
Transparency to the point of being honest to a fault. We are often tactless, and politically incorrect, heedless of repercussions and consequences.
Tendency to externaliz or blame others while not seeing your rold in the problem. Coupled with the inability to observe oneself accurately.
Distorted negative self-image. People with ADHD have a self-image that is more negative than warranted. The phrase “attention-deficit-distorter” has been used, because of how it distorts so many perceptions of reality. While on the other hand, creativity depends on the ability to “distort” the ordinary.
The science behind it.
There is a part of the brain that is active when a person is engaged in a task. This is the part of the brain that lights up and shows activity in the neurons when a person is writing an email, making breakfast, or reading a book. In this state, you do not think about being happy or unhappy- you aren’t wasting time in self-assessment. If you use the image of an angel on one shoulder and demon on the other, this is the “angel” mindset. We can get trapped here- doing a task with the inability to disengage. This is the hyper-focused part. The brain is a muscle, and if less time is spent here being focused, this part of the muscle atrophies.
If not focused on a task, another part of the brain gets engaged, called the default mode network. This is the part of the brain with creativity, imagnation. It is also part of the autobiography, memory, and personal history, allowing us to think back, draw upon, and pick apart the past. The same part of the brain helps one to look forward, imagine, and plan for the future. It is this part of the brain that allows us to daydream (and miss the exit on the highway).
These two parts of the brain are the ying and the yang of the brain. People with ADHD have a broken “switch” between these two states. And people with ADHD are especially prone to head toward gloom and doom in their minds because they have stored up in their memories a lifetime of moments of failure, disappointment, shame, frustration, defeat, and embarrassment. This can cause us to abandon projects that were started with enthusiasm, make careless errors, or fall into a state of misery or despair for no good reason.
Many of the lines above are direct quotes from this book, and I encourage you to read it. Here is the link on amazon.
What it means for my life.
The attention parts listed above I understand. I was diagnosed 10 years ago, and never thought much about it. But recently I got curious- besides medication, what can be done about the things listed above? It turns out, just identifying the umbrella of definitions above has been tremendously helpful. Yes, ADHD controls the ability to pay attention to a task at work, but who knew that it also applied to the way I thought about myself, the parts of creativity in life, my occasional sad spirit, and politically incorrect texting?
Being aware of it is a huge first step. The book goes on and has tremendously helpful insights. Knowing that “there are good days and bad days” helps me feel better about things. I know that some days are easier to bang out tasks and be productive than others- I just never knew I was alone in this.
I’m doing better than most. What I didn’t include in the list above is the tendency for people with ADHD to get addicted to drugs, be reckless with relationships, and irresponsible with money, binge eat. These don’t seem to be issues I struggle with- even though I have been known to eat a bag of Doritoes in the past.
The most important thing is that I married Taylor. She is the mirror I can rely on, a steady rudder to keep moving in the right direction. When my attention wanders, she can keep me on track. If I am down on myself, she is kind. If I have any relationships at all, it is because she has room to spare. Though I can’t juggle all the home duties and kids responsibilities, she does it with grace. If I am over analyzing, she will keep things grounded. When I am impatient and overreact (as a parent), she will keep me in check. Somehow, I think even before I realized it, she had the parts I needed to be complete as a person, and I am grateful for that always.
Also understanding the connection between exercise and ADHD mental health is huge. The book encourages us to “think of exercise as taking medicine”. Not for the goal of losing weight, but for the goal of knowing how good I feel afterwards.
And the connection between healthy foods (and specific foods) and mental health is huge. Yes, certain food do help me stay focused, feel more optimistic, and leave me feeling great for the day.
To be quite honest and transparent, I am not sure everything this means for me and my life. But if there is a moment when I feel down, or if I am over analyzing a situation or a slighted comment, it feels good to know that I am not alone. There are so many situations and areas of life that I hope to understand better now.
I work as a software engineer as I have for the past 10 years or so. Recently, I was let go from my position as a Senior Software Engineer at an MLS company, and it really got me wondering about the future of the industry, and my role in it.
It happens. There are layoffs all the time. Interest rates are high, so the cost of money is not cheap; hiring is low. I live in Greensboro (not a big city), so rely on remote work. There are very few companies that hire for the work I do in the region, and if a company is hiring a remote worker, why would they hire me when they can hire a remote worker for 1/3 of the price (or less) in another country? I get it.
And companies are hiring less as they lean more on the use of AI. The theory is that a senior role (like me) can be more productive with AI than a senior role with several junior level roles supporting them.
Even if I end up at a great company, what’s to say the role couldn’t be outsourced in the near future? Or the company could be sold, and the team laid off, even if I am a stellar employee?
There is a website that keeps track of the numbers in the industry, trueup, and they state there are going to be an estimated 223,000 layoffs in the industry by the end of the year- or 661 per day. These layoffs from the best companies- Apple, Amazon, Netflix, Google- are all the people I would be competing with for an interview- a losing battle on my end.
This time around (I have been laid off before, its not uncommon in this industry), I got an AI resume writing service, enhancv.com, and applied to well over 200 positions (close to 220). Each position I used a customized resume by AI to speak to all of the requirements listed, and here is my takeway:
Many listings online are fake. They are a scam to get your information.
Many listings online are fake. They are a scam make it SEEM like the company is hiring when they are not, giving the impression of growth.
Listings online are focused on hiring for people overseas, even if they don’t explicitly say so.
There can be 900 applications for a remote role in one day.
More and more roles have followed the return to office policy, requiring 3-5 days a week onsite.
I was lucky this time. On LinkedIn, my feed is flooded with people in my industry of software engineering that have been looking for roles for 9 months, 12 months, or even 18+ months, having applied to 500+ roles or more. For me, I must have had 25 interviews; did 4 take-home coding assignments (one being an 8 hour project). over 100 automated rejections, and despite being a perfect candidate for a role just a few miles from my house, didnt get a single response from The Fresh Market.
The negativity on LinkedIn from my industry is really heavy, but I was able to make it through and accepted an offer from Geoh after searching for about 8 weeks, and I am excited to start a new, even more senior role, at a smaller company that does Medicaid and Medicare billing software, and industry that isnt going anywhere any time soon.
I will be doing more of the Software Architecture side of things- meaning looking at the big picture to decide how all of the software works together (billing, databases, integrations with each state, location tracking, invoice printing, etc). It will be an exciting challenge.
Even so, this really got me wondering: can I rely on this industry to help me provide for my family 5+ years from now? Is AI going to change this industry even more, making my work obsolete? Also, I am 40+ years old now, and this industry seems like a young man’s game- the instability seems like more of a gamble each year. Is it worth it?
Maybe it’s time to go back and become an electrician.
Several years ago I took Rosie to Charlotte on the train, and this year is Mercy’s turn.
After a quick breakfast, and a few minutes at the train station, we were on our way on the 90 minute train ride (the same amount of time as driving).
It’s $20 a person for a round trip ticket, and the train drops you off right near downtown Charlotte- just under 2 miles away from Discovery Center Science.
The train was virtually empty, and it was really nice not to drive and just spend time with Mercy. We got a seat with a table, spent some time coloring, and just looking out the window.
Discovery Center is big, but 2-3 hours is more than enough time. There was a big exhibit about space- which Mercy just wasn’t interested in. The hamster wheel, starfish, and birds were fun though (ewww! They smell bad! was her only complaint before running away).
The highlight for me was reconnecting with my really good friend from middle school, Tyler Bryson. He has been living in Charlotte, and I texted him earlier in the year, and we both said we should connect. His suggestions was The Tipsy Pickle, an indoor pickleball/bar concept, and it happened to be near the train station. Again, awesome to have a beer and take the train home.
Rosie had a friend to spend the night, and it is sometimes a challenge to figure out what to do: stay home and keep them entertained? Go out to one of the breweries where they can run around a bit?
“Why don’t we walk to dinner?” Taylor suggested. So we did. Harper’s is a great choice, and about a 20 minute walk. Just one big road to cross, and it was fine; it gets dark so early, I made sure everyone had a flashlight.
It was a little early, so we popped into the pet store next door before the long walk home. Also, the pet store was a sponsor for the school’s fundraiser this year, so delivering a “Thank you” note was part of the itinerary.
Also, just like every year, this is the time of the year to battle the leaves. The city changed course and no longer takes a big pile of leaves if they are put on the curb- instead, they expect all yard debris to go into the can they provide.
It doesnt work. At my house, I quietly put my rake down, and called one of the many newly formed small businesses that can come to my house and suck the leaves.
As a side benefit, the kids get a big pile once again. It was more fun than I expected:
What do you get the special artist in your life that has everything?
It’s fall again. The political signs came out, and went away again. And it’s that one week in Greensboro I love the most: the leaves are amazing. My mom taught me to appreciate color, and I know I am annoying my kids because of it, pointing out some of these things we see driving to and from school each day.
It also means fighting the leaves to get them off my grass each year, but thats another story.
Taylor spent a few days out of town last week hanging with her life long friends in the mountains, and it looks like they had fun:
In her absence, my chore was to find my mom a birthday present- and this is something I am notably bad at. So, after Rosie got home from school, we went to Costco to see what we could find. Roaming the aisles, asking, “Would CICI like that?”. Tupperware? A blender? A warm blanket? THe best we could come up with is a cutting board in the shape of North Carolina, and some flowers.
Matt got her almost an identical cutting board last year, I learned after Taylor returned from her trip and told me.
“I’ll get her something” Taylor said. The girls hopped in the car, I battled the leaves for an hour or two, and on their return, after the delicious salmon and farmer’s market vegetable dinner, we gave Cici her new and improved gift:
Her very first pair of Crocs! Complete with Jibbitz that spell “Ci Ci!”. They were the wrong size, but the Croc store 0.8 miles from our house was still open, so we did an impromptu visit to exchange them for the right size.
Her facial expressions say it all- she had no idea there was a whole store dedicated to Crocs. She ended up getting a pair that will better hide the paint that will inevitably get on them.
Mercy just turned 5, and urgently had to use the restroom. There were none, so we had to run across the parking lot to Macy’s. Mercy wanted to ride the escalator, so we just wandered around the store for 30 minutes. It was almost empty at 8pm on a Saturday, and for whatever reason, it was such a fun, silly time together. Mercy, Rosie, and I did a footrace a few times, tried on shoes, and Mercy rolled her eyes at the Christmas decorations “It’s not Christmas yet!” she said several times.
We love you Cici, thanks for the joy that you bring us!
Today is the first day of school for the kids. And, the first day of a life back in some semblence of routine that I am looking forward to after all of the “big” things from this past year. Yes, I am thankful- this year was way out of the ordinary.
This was not a normal pace. We hit some big milestones: Taylor and I turned 40, Rosie turned 10, and a 15 year anniversary. We travelled 6804 miles by plane, and 580 miles by car, but we did it in much better shape than any of us expected. Even the 10 hour drive to New York was (pretty) smooth! And all of those milestones had to be celebrated.
Now, we have absolutely nothing on the calendar (well, thats not true, a few weekend trips), and it is a great moment to reflect and be grateful for our family and friends that we got to spend time with this past year.
In front of the Epcot call
Disney World in August.The kids had never done a big trip, so we took em. It was cheaper the longer you stayed. It was a wonderful trip- the kids had a blast, and I am in NO RUSH to get there any time soon. Why? Not because it was bad, but because I feel like we did it all. There is nothing that we did not get to do. 528 miles flown.
New York City in December for Rosies 10th birthday surprise. This is a big milestone birthday, and we wanted to honor her. It was a great, 3 day weekend and jam-packed. Now how do we top it for Mercy’s big birthday in several years? 453 miles flown.
Miami in January (for Taylor). This was her girls trip when she turned 40. No, I didnt post about it- but I still think it’s funny that these girls chose Miami- they are a very Asheville NC type of crowd, but it looked like a fun weekend. 711 miles flown.
Nashville in January (for Luke). This was my guy’s trip when I turned 40. I love music, and this was a blast. It was really special to spend time with these guys I have known since before college. 390 miles flown
Look at us love birds
Italy in May for our combined birthdays AND 15 year anniversary. This was a big trip- I wanna say the best trip of my life. The Church History stuff was really amazing for me, and I am so grateful for the chance to have gone. 5197 miles flown.
North Carolina Beach (Ocean Isle Beach) for 4th of July. This is our normal tradition, and we were glad to see the Core family as well. Pictured is the 4th of July parade. 207 miles driven.
Merriewold in August. This was new, and didnt want to pass up the opportunity to visit before Rosie got too old. The week was fantastic, and the kids are already asking to go back. 580 miles driven.
Family pic at the beginning of the night.
Taylor’s Big Birthday in August. And man, it was a big birthday party. The big gift was a crowd-funded skee-ball machine, and it is so much fun! 0 miles driven.
Lots of memories this year. Maybe our 50th birthdays/25 year anniversary will top it in the year 2035? As for this coming year, maybe we will just go to Myrtle Beach or Dollywood and keep it a bit more simple.
And a few months ago- plot twist! – she asked me to be in charge of planning it. After my extensive track record of planning exactly 0 parties, this was gonna be a blast.
Fast forward past the months of prepping the house each weekend to make things look good, and the whole night was a lot of fun. We rented chairs to make things look “Funky and Fresh” to match the theme of the party, and rented speakers to dance- thank you to all of my neighbors who didnt call the police as we danced until 12:00 (my legs are still sore). Missy Elliot, Lil Wayne, and TLC were all welcomed with open arms. And, I leaned into Pepper Moon Catering so that none of Taylor’s dear friends had to volunteer to work the whole night to keep things moving. It was so, so good to see so many friends together from over the years.
Getting ready. Give me pre-wedding vibes. Group SelfieJimmy and CharlesRosie doing skee ballMark and Margaret (our neighbors) and us at the end of the eveningStacey, Taylor, Emily, Linds, and Derek: These 5 go way back. Taylor and Allison, another neighborThe dance momsBen the Bartender for the night. Thanks man!Sara, Taylor, RachelDeborah was in the zone all night. Family pic at the beginning of the night. A toast to TaylorRosie loves her PapaNeighbors and FriendsClint was into the 90s lookThank you Haneys for coming from RaleighJimmy and Gayla (Also, he officiated our wedding!)Derek loves his sisterTaylor, Grandma Becky, and IThank you Cici!Joe and Sara looking FRESH!Taylor with niece and cousin
Somewhere along the way of planning this party, a friend of Taylor and I’s suggested something that seemed just absurd, but possible: what if we get Taylor, the skee-ball queen, a skee-ball machine of her own? “Preposterous”. I said. Then, within 24 hours of that comment, it seemed like a wonderful idea. In summary, here is what happened. Our friend began collecting money from those coming to the party, and:
Found a skee ball machine on Facebook Marketplace.
It was sold by the time I could get a truck and get there.
Found another skee ball machine in Fayetteville, NC (2 hrs away).
Rented a U-Haul pickup truck, and drove there with Rosie.
It weighs 700 pounds
Had to store it in a warehouse here in town for a month (Thank you Mark!).
Had to pick it up from the warehouse and bring it home when Taylor was out of town. It was too heavy to unload.
Had to hire 2 people from next door to come on short notice and help me move it into its new home.
I wasn’t murdered by a stranger in the process.
With the gift hiding behind the sheet that Rosie constructed, here was the big reveal:
The moment of the big reveal
And this: Yes, it was A LOT of work to put this thing together; but, it was really special as her husband to see how many people stepped up to help volunteer their time and energy to contribute in some way: a few hours before the party, a small team of specialists transformed our house with balloons, flowers, and everything else needed to honor Taylor (Thanks Mallory, Deborah, Evan, Stacey!). Others helped make the music playlist for dancing- and not one song was skipped, the playlist was awesome (Thanks Rachel!). And CiCi for letting me use her van to move that gigantic game. And thanks Sara Core for helping to make the skee ball machine a reality, she loves it. And Mark for letting us use his warehouse.
After all the years I see Taylor instinctively love on others, it was really, really special to see others love on her.
